A little kitty and little wood (don't be perverted)

Well my new family member is still working out. She has survived nearly two weeks at our humble abode AKA The Wild Kingdom as my sister's like to call it. I will tell you our new addition has caused a little extra work on my part. Between my two dogs, the new cat, the raccoon, the opossum, the ground hog, and the giant chicken hawks I can happily report everyone is alive and well. Due to the addition of Berlin to the family every morning begins now with me being on wild animal control in our front yard. At approximately six am each morning I have to don my big purple robe and go out on wild animal patrol to make sure it is safe to have Berlin exit her house. I then have to scoop her up and hold her while Tony releases the hounds (Buster and Boswell) I have to hold Berlin in one arm and hold the broom in the other to fend of Boswell from attacking poor Berlin and vice versa. This I will tell you is a whole bunch of fun trying to hold onto a cat that is hissing and clawing trying to get at the dog and the dog is jumping up and baring his teeth. I do feel blood pressure meds are in my near future if this is to become my new morning ritual. Part two requires me screaming at Buster to stay in the front where I can see him for fear that Rocky the Raccoon will attack him while I am trying to keep Berlin and Boswell from attacking each other. I will say this does serve as a great excuse for me not to do any type of cardio exercise though because in my head I am sure my heart rate is at optimal fat burning speed before I ever even get my first cup of coffee. This makes sense doesn't it? Just tell me I am right and get it over with! After getting the dogs back inside and Berlin safe I feed her which immediately sends her into some form of hysteria running all over the front yard and up and down every tree in the yard. Then she positions herself under Tony's truck to catch her breathe. She does this just about the time Tony is ready to leave for work. So once again I am back outside in my giant Barney robe trying to coax her out from under the truck so Tony can leave. I am not sure if I have told you Tony is not well known for his patience. He is under the impression that all the planets and all the people and animals should fall in line and work around his schedule. I feel this may be a sign of insanity for him as he has been married to me after all for nearly two decades. Why on earth he would get the impression that things go as planned after all these years I will never figure out! OMG I think my ADD just kicked in I totally forgot to mention the most amazing discovery I had yesterday. Let me tell you first that I am married to a contractor/carpenter. All of you ladies know what this means. I have the ugliest most unfinished house on the street. Although I have managed to get at least part of Peyton's bedroom remodel finished. I had to do this my draping everything in plastic and forcing my sweet baby to sleep on the couch for the last three weeks. I began working on the nail holes and plastering BB holes, and some larger ones that I am sure came from some sort of automatic weapon like perhaps an AK47 or something. I was hoping this would be enough to get Tony moving and actually finish the project. Especially since Peyton sleeping and playing his videos on Tony's prized new plat screen television. My plan did not work...that is until I purchase the paint and began to paint the room myself. When Tony discovered that I was trying my hand at painting he finally painted the room in less than an hour!!!! One hour yeah I have been waiting for three weeks and sweating and you do this in an hour. Since Tony was so kind as to do the painting finally I thought I would help out by installing the new closet organizer that I stole from my Mom's basement to keep the remodel going. So yesterday morning after everyone left I grab my drill, screwdriver, hammer (just in case) and level and try to begin the installation of this closet system. All I have to say for this system is unless you want to drive yourself totally coo coo don't buy one. To install this damn thing you would need sixteen hands and an engineering degree from MIT to actually be able to get this done. After struggling for over an hour and half with this system from hell. I gave up I went into the other closet and seen that Tony had used wood to create shelves in other closets. This looked much easier. I went in got dressed in my very best Pickaway County housewife attire (big ugly t-shirt, big ugly jeans, tennis shoes and a pony tail) and took my domestic butt to Sutherlands. This is where the great discovery was made!! OMG it is my own little nirvana they will cut wood for you if you have the measurements. This is my greatest discovery yet. See I have asked Tony on multiple occasions to show me how to use the big power tools. Or at least a couple of the saws and he always points out that perhaps it is not the best idea for me to be using tools that have the ability to cut off my hands and or fingers while home alone is not a wise idea. He used to make sure he took every power tool he owned to work with him. Now he has started leaving some of them in our shed at home he only does this now because he knows that I will no longer enter our shed. Last month a snake was discovered right inside the shed door on two different occasions. The first one by Tony who did actually manage to kill it. But two days later when I went to get something there was another one. So now given my, what Tony's classifies as irrational fear of snakes (just because one time I launched myself butt first out of a window six feet off the ground screaming and crying) he knows he can put anything in that shed and I will never ever ever for all of my days on earth enter it again!!!! But that will no longer keep me from attempting to remodel the house, thanks to this new discovery. I don't need his stinking power tools he can put them in the shed if wants I will not be stopped!!! I will be like those do it yourselfers on HGTV. Even though he won't admit it to me I know he was really impressed when I showed him the new shelf I installed in Peyton's closet. Granted he did role his eyes when he asked what type of screws I used for the supports and I told him I kind lost patience with the drill and opted to use giant nails and a hammer instead.(see I knew from the get go that the hammer would be needed) I already have the wood cut and ready to install another one in Drake's closet this week. I also have some great plans for a few other little projects I have been asking him to do as well. The home stores not only cut rough lumber for you they will cut trim as well. I am just tickled pink and I think Tony is ready to up the dosage of his blood pressure medicine. Oh yeah and if anyone with an engineering degree and the patience of Job would like a closet organizer system I have one available I can just duct tape it all back in the box. Well folks I gotta go for now. There is a shelf needing installing and I have to figure out what to do with the rest of the two by fours and 5/8 inch plywood I have hidden in my Denali before Tony gets home. I tell you what Tony just needs to realize what a catch I am..I mean I can cook, I can clean, I have mad laundry skills and now I can even do home remodeling. Not to even mention that I can remove and install that plunger thingy in the toilets I just did that last week. He is sooooo lucky!! Until next time happy remodeling!!