Poor neighbor Poor Bambi!!

Well let's see what hasn't happened in the last week. Not much I can most certainly say that. Now let me give you a little piece of advice. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to go to your neighbors house to lodge a complaint I suggest you first find out what kind of week said neighbor has had. Let me also preface this blog by saying Peyton is fifty percent Pettibone and fifty percent McComas therefore the likelihood that any of my children would make it through life without presenting their parents with a little embarrassment is highly unlikely. My Saturday morning began with a call telling me my eighteen year old nephew was in ICU in a hospital in Alabama following a horrible auto accident. By three thirty in the morning on Sunday my mother had been in the hospital because she was having hallucinations comparable to some sixties love child at Woodstock. Sunday afternoon I received a call that my brothers partner had lost his forty nine year old sister. Monday afternoon my sister informs me a very close family friend has been hospitalized out of state. So the timing of my neighbors arrival was not really optimal to say the least. So here it is okay well last week Peyton and a friend ask if they could go out and walk in the woods next to our house and do what they call "creeking" after discussion with Tony and I they were permitted to go into the woods next to our house for one hour. One our later when I am sitting outside on the porch playing with my new kitten Berlin the boys returned of course covered in mud and laughing. When I asked what was so funny Peyton informed me that while exploring the woods they discovered video cameras on some of the trees and my little angel says that he mooned one of the cameras. I of course admonished him for doing something so stupid. I pointed out that this was probably one of our neighbors who placed those cameras and in all likelihood he just showed his butt to our fellow country dwellers. I told him that is not how he should act and that it was disrespectful and gave him the entire Mommy lecture he apologized and said he would not do it again. Riiiiiiight!! So after my week of nothing but bad news my twenty something neighbor shows up at my door with papers in hand. I immediately remember what Peyton told me last week. So I was not caught off guard and I had a pretty good suspicion of what the papers in his hand were before I opened the door. I opened the door and my neighbor immediately hands me the a picture of my son and ask if I know who this is. I said yep I know who it is and so do you that is Peyton. He then hands me the second picture this one is a different view...showing his back side. I told him I was very sorry that I already knew about what he had done and had already spoken to him about it. My neighbor then says "well I a not very happy about this at all", I said well I am not exactly jumping for joy over what he did either, so I am not sure what you want me to do here. He said well I am just very unhappy and upset about it I told him to join the club. My neighbor then says he almost called the sheriff but decided to come and talk to me first. Really you were going to call the sheriff and make a report that a twelve year old mooned you huh? This is when I snapped I said by all means call the sheriff because if you can be arrested in this county for showing your ass then we are going to need a bigger jail. And Walmart will be out of business because everyone will be sitting in lock up. And frankly neighbor when my biggest problem is having some adolescent moon my deer camera I won't be pounding on anyone's door proclaiming to be very upset I would instead be jumping for joy. Because in all honesty you caught me on a really really bad day and the fact that my son now had his butt on film is the least of my worries. Now like I said I apologize for his behavior but in the bigger picture of life I hate to say it I find it rather insignificant in light of all the other things going on in my life right now. Once he left deciding he was getting no where with a hormonal woman with raging PMS I of course kept pondering over his reaction. I am sorry but I got to thinking and here it is. Now it is soon to be deer season in our fine county. I have lived with the rituals of deer season and all the preparation of it for over twelve years I have lived down here in the sticks. It is actually quite funny to me how much preparation goes into this so called sport. I may be wrong here but I don't really think it is a sport. The way I see it God gave man the intelligence to rule over the animals of this planet. So just by creation we have an advantage. And I admire those old hunters who went out into the wilderness and hunted to provide food and clothing for their families on foot or horseback armed with either bow and arrow or shotgun. But hunting now has become something very very different. Now I watch my neighbors preparing weeks in advance for the season. Now they set up tree stands, lure them in with salt lick set up cameras and ride four wheelers into the woods armed with high powered guns and they call it sport. Really? Now you can sit at home watching your computer and wait for the deer to appear on your screen so you don't have to sit out in the cold for hours. Then you run outside hop on your ATV headed right for the trap you set climb into your tree stand and shoot! All this preparation for an animal who's most likely cause of death is collision with a vehicle. This is an animal who is too stupid to get out of the way when they spot the headlights of my three thousand pound vehicle coming straight at them. So neighbor as for you being upset about my son's butt on your camera well here is what I am upset about. I am upset that for the entire length of deer season I can not utilize my family room with the big screen tv in it. Because of the blast of the guns that have me hitting the deck as if I am in the middle of a war zone. Also because I fear you good ole boys may have had one too many Bud Lights at home watching football and the computer screen simultaneously and your aim is off pointed directly at my house. So perhaps I would be a little more remorseful for my son's actions if you all would hunt like the real men used to. Back when they used patience and skill. Back when they would get up early and sit for hours in the cold and silence waiting for Bambi to show up. Then if they were lucky enough to get a kill they then had to carry it home to skin it and prepare it on foot. They didn't just load it on the trailer hooked to the ATV and tear through the farmers field. Back when just being a man gave them enough advantage to provide food for the family. They didn't do it by setting traps weeks in advance, they didn't mount camera's to trees they didn't have tree stands and ATV's. They walked, they waited, the used skill and patience they were real men. So as disappointed and upset as you are my friend please know that I am every bit as disappointed in you for calling yourself a hunter. And actually if my son's actions in any way interfered with your planned terrorist attack on Bambi then I am quite happy. Perhaps later today I will even venture into the woods and give you something to really look at. Better yet I think I will go down sit on SR 22 and record the sounds of all those guns being fired at the gun range. I will then go out in the woods and mount speakers right next to your cameras to blast the recording into the woods during deer season. The will see how well you do this season. Okay that is all I have to say on that. I can only hope the raging PMS subsides sometime soon. I can report my nephew pulled through although with a long recovery ahead. My mom made it home from the hospital and blood work shows she does not have LSD in her system. My family friend made it home from the hospital out of state and everyone is recovering well. I need to go for now so I can go find a good recording device and get to Best Buy to see if I can find some tree mount speakers. Until next time let us all try not to show our asses either figuratively or literally.